Letter to Her Soldier and His Lady
by timelucked
Summary: Sousuke gets thrust into a war zone. Kaname writes to him, which he willing replies back. Will feelings unravel as the stresses of his situation pull them closer together? Or will an unfortunate turn of events stop them from being together?
1. Kaname: Hey Soldier

Hey Soldier (Salutes)!

I'm tired of writing 'dear … ' as a letter header... it's just kind of... I don't know – lame, maybe. So... you're finally back out there in the field, huh?

Is it... scary? Maybe it's just me but...I think it would be... at least a bit...

Well, I guess you're used to it, though...

Please remember to be safe... take extra precaution... you know... I'd rather have you visiting here in one piece! Wait... you _do_ plan on visiting, don't you!

Again... to emphasize how strongly I feel about this... I know you know (with your damn sharp surbibal tactics and militarily-inclined ethics) and all but.. um... for... well... aha, not me... but um... for ...kyo...KYOKO'S – yea... yea... - sake, do you think you can take … well... I don't know... use more vigilance... have people watch out for you... that sort of thing... for Kyoko... and Shinji! They'd be a … real mess without you..

But seriously...though... come back... we..._ I_... miss you...

Ha, you and your... 'you'ness.

(Sigh) I really do miss you... I miss having you breathing down my ne- wait... no I don't... but I do want the times wehre you'd come over back. You know how funny you are when you eat? Haha, it's... quite amusing (nom nom nom)

Anyway, I'm just rambling now... I'll let you get back to your – er- 'work'. I hope this made you laugh (if you even _can_!). It was kind of my intent to do that... that and to bring you up to speed. I think I failed to do that... oh well... maybe next time...

look, if you take anything away from this, just know what we all miss you (even Eri-Sensei... and Tsubaki won't admit it... but... he misses his rival, too) … _I_ miss you … and you're always welcome back! (We'll _try_ not to be too hard on you for leaving us in the first place~!)

[Scratched out "Lo-"]

Sincerely,

The Girl That Awaits Her Faithful Guardian.

_A/N:_

_Hi Guys! Long time no post, right? I've been sitting on this fanfic for a long while now... and I thought i'd post it all when I was done... but I decided to take it a chapter at a time!_

_I was tired of seeing it all just.. sit and rot, not being noticed by anyone!_

_Sorry this was so short, but i promise it gets longer and better... wow... innuendo, much? maybe not... i do indeed have a perverted mind though =="_

_Clarification: the parentheses are things she writes out... like in the letter it really does say "sigh" not like it's an action she does outside the letter... and the boxies (xD) are descriptions... like, I wasn't able to show you that the "lo" in "love" was being scratched out so instead I wrote it out in the boxies~_

_well... I sincerely hope you enjoyed reading the fist chapter of many to come... I'm Dani Darkko, and I approve this message._

_So tell me Fanficers...what would you comment on this?_

_Jaa~_


	2. Sousuke: Hey Civilian

"Hey" Civilian (bows),

I have never put much thought into a header for a letter. Quite frankly, I usually don't put one.

I am indeed out in the battlefield though as of this moment I am within the camps barracks. (Kurz seems incapable of ceasing his face-makings, odd body thrusts, and incessant blabbering. He's giving me a headache and starting to grate on my last nerves... business as usual, it would appear)

To address what you asked of me, no... fighting does not frighten me whatsoever. In fact, instinct kicks in and I feel an odd rush that charges through my veins as if it were blood and an overwhelming sense of... I'm not even sure what.

It is like every nerve is hyper-sensitive, every feeling spiked, some sort of acidic-like liquid (so it seems) that courses through my body.

It is... unique and an acquired taste I've come to know well.

I am always cautious but thinking of what I long to return too, it sends me into a state where all I can think about is coming back to what I think of as … 'home'. Being with you feels … better.

You have given me a reason to come out alive after the war is done, beyond just my ultimate survival. I have a person I want to see more than my own safety. You've shown me life. You've given me a life without violence, a life that I can live and learn and cherish. I'm sorry if I... over-shared... but... I feel that... in these letters.. I know it's cowardly that I couldn't tell you face-to-face … but in these letters... I can fully express what has been on my mind for awhile now... Also... these may very well be my only opportunities to explain all the things I want to.

Because of how erratic my past was, it carries on into normal-day, citizen settings. It was never certain how long we could or would stay in one place so we ate fast. It took precedence, in order to survive we needed to eat yet also to flee. So we either fled then ate or ate while we fled or ate fast before the time came that we needed to flee. I _can_ see how my eating habits would be amusing ("-_-" Kurz told me to put this … I do not know why, though...the things that man does sometimes... baffles me, to say the least)

I have taken so much out of your letter. My chest aches at times on the numerous occasions I have read it. I am not certain as to the feeling, though. The Sergeant Major say's it is either longing or missing you. I... I believe that to be the true case in point I keep your letter in my breast pocket at all times (the throb I feel in my chest ebbs away the closer it is)

Th-this is long and I am sorry if reading this has inconvenienced you!

Your letter has gotten a chuclked out of me and Weber said he's never seen me happier. He told me to write this - : ) - face.

I'm puzzled...

I miss you as well. More than I am able to express with only this pen and paper as my speech.

-The Boy Who Longs for the Awaiting Girl and Home.

_A/N:_

_Sooooooooooo, did I fail you? I think it's gotten better... I hope so T^T :(_

_But, what'd I say? It was indeed longer._

_Ok, Trolls, if any of you say "Sousuke wouldn't be so gay and say all that stuff" think about it!_

_I tried to make this as in character as I could, and I hope I did I good job of it... but the reason he's all fluffy and open and lovey-dovey-ish is because, he just left the place that was peaceful and he was accustomed to … left the one person he cared about the most to be deployed into a battlefield... where he could very easily die!_

_So, as 'he' said... this would be his only oppurtunity to get what he wanted to say to her out!_

_And also, it is much easier to write your true feelings down when you can't automatically be rejected by them or when you aren't staring at the person they are directed to... hence the cowardice comment 'he' makes xD_

_hahah, Sousuke Sagara... a fierce lion on the front lines... frady-cat in terms of the never-ending war known as love~_

_Well... hope you enjoyed this segment of Letters to Her Soldier and His Lady... I'm Dani Darkko and I approve this message_

_So... tell me, Fanficers... what did YOU think about this story?_

_Leave your interesting or creative comments in the comment section ~_

_Sorry for the RWJ (ray william johnson) references... I flippin' love that guy! He's so funny, you all should check him out if you haven't already! Youtube, guys... mother of all things video-related funny :D_

_Jaa~_


	3. Kaname: Yo Sergeant

Yo Sergeant! (how dare you mock me! No salute for you!)

Don't think I didn't see what you did there, copying me... _very_ funny, Soldier...

Wise guy, eh?

When you get back we shall be "working through" this new development of yours.

I feel honored that I am one of the few to get a 'header' out of you :3

Oh, and that feeling you get – yeah, that's called an adrenaline rush. Pssh, you junkie! I guess I live a boring life, I never get a spiked rush of... well, anything really. Well, on a normal, day-to-day basis that is... it seems, though, that whenever I am with you I get a lot of that feeling =_=

Sorry you have a headache (pats head) though I'm sure it's gone by now. If Kurz doesn't leave you alone and quit being his … annoying self, five him a sucker punch from me (or at least have Melissa do it)

You know, Sousuke... you really need to stop playing your cards so close to your chest! I mean, you're always there when I need you... and vice versa! It's never 'over-sharing' – just let loose sometimes, say what you feel! I'd love to hear more, actually... you can... y'know... tell me... anyth-_every_thing!

What you said made me _so_ happy! So... I think to be fair and all... its your turn... my turn to make _you_ happy...if this, hopefully, does...

You always look out for me, no matter the cost all you do and care and think about is making me happy and safe and just... content with life. That's all that ever seems to have crossed your mind lately. Well... I want to... and always have wanted to be your 'Sousuke' I want to make you feel happy and feel safe.

And, ya know... that is _really_ hard to do when you're so far away _and_ in a dangerous war zone/ hot spot!

I am so glad I could be those things for you... It makes me happy that I can make you feel that way... it really does...

Going with one you said, I feel the same. My apartment was just some place I used for shelter but when you came and when you were there with me... it actually felt like it was a place to _live_. With you, everything was better and I _did_ get a sense of home and... surprisingly, belonging. (insert my infamous awkward chuckle... here...)

I am glad to get that off my chest and even more so that you can't see my face... it makes it easier to say what's on my mind and in my heart when hidden behind these pages.

I miss you too, Sousuke... and most times it is surprisingly more than I can bear... but I do the same as you... I just take out your letters and hold them close... I know it's a purely psychological thing... but the pain really does lessen... and for those moments... I'm able to think of you... without feeling scared or worried... just happy to know that you were ok enough to write me those letters.

Again... I'm probably only able to write this because you can't see me... me and my oh-so red face at this moment.

And these letters would never be an inconvenience for me! I sit and _wait_ for them to come! So don't worry about me on that one! I...um... honestly... love to read them... the way you write... it's like... it's like I can actually hear you say those words... it's... it's nice... : )

On another note...

"-_-" means a kind of bored, confused, and/or puzzled, exasperated face. ":)" is a smiley face (like the one on my face now)

It makes me happier than you know, to know that you actually miss me. I'm sure you miss a lot of things wherever you are. I have no idea... your letters don't have a return address... I have to send them through Merida Base. "Barracks" just doesn't sound very homey : / But, hey, I could be wrong... and judging from what you've said... I seem to actually be in the right here.

No place can really be called home when you have a pest like Kurz Weber around... haha, I'm just kidding! … Sort of...

B-by the way... where – um – does this leave … us...?

Never mind, you d-don't have to answer that!

A-anyhow... I hope you're still safe... and... well... as relatively happy as you can be in your situation (...that was meant to sound and come off as more meaningful... ah well...)

OH! Yea, and to keep you in tuned to what's going on on the home-front... Issei was flirting with me so, I seemed to be channeling you at this point, I punched him in the arm... he was hurt by that... but... it was deserved! And since that day when you and Issei saved her, she is still on his case. He tries to be as cold and mean to her as possible but she still clings to him like a tamaran monkey!

Kyoko and Onodera won't tell me, but I have a strong, sneaking suspicion that there is something going on between them... I think they are secretly dating but won't tell anyone... not even me! And I'm their best friend! The sheer audacity of some people!

Hayashimizu is off working at some company as their head C.E.O... can you believe that? Not but last year he was the Student Body President! And, of course, by his side as his loyal and trustworthy (still smitten as ever) secretary is Ren-chan!

I think there's something between them too!

Shinji says he misses his war buddy... he misses all the times you and him hung out and played with those dolls... Kyoko misses you too... and even Ono-D! You've made a really strong impact here...

Oh, and in case you were wondering... or something... my little sister called from America... She still wants to meet you.. and uh... so does my father... they're both pretty bent on it so you know what that means! You HAVE to come back! Don't try to shirk out of this by dying in battle somewhere!

Well... that about wraps it up... : )

Yours always (wow, that sounds so cheesy!)

The Bumbling Girl Who Still Misses You..._A lot_...

_A_/_N:_

_Soooooooooooooooooooooooooo? What'd you all think? I actually extended this from the original... hope it adds better effect... I think it did... :D_

_Anyway, leave your comments below, I would really appreciate them! Stay Tuned for the next chapter, and what not :D_

_Bai~_


	4. Sousuke: Hello Kaname

Hello Kaname,

I have learned it can be quite easy to rebound off you and joke back so, as the situation seemed to call for it, I did. And I would most certainly be honored to have you 'work' through this with me.

Of course you "deserve" a header or salutation. You deserve much more, if it were solely up to me.

I asked Kurz as we sat at lights out, what a junkie was as I was unfamiliar with the term... Kaname, you should know by now that I would not indulge in such activities and behave in such irresponsible manners. It would decrease my rationale and real-time efficiency, in any case... though the ingredients do fetch quite a pretty penny. You remember those flowers I tried using as an apology? Yes, those could have earned a large sum of money.

I find it ironic that you thought you "live a boring life" it... couldn't be further from the truth.

You may not fight in battles that test your survival to their ends... but you have your own struggles... and even you, a normal person, had to deal with all the things and enemies that came with the responsibilities of guarding you. All things that I should have taken care of solely! Not have had you dragged through. It was my duty and I had primarily failed it... You were thrust into positions no average teen girl would be able to handle... and yet... there you were... not only cooperating... but... even taking charge! It was one thing I felt that pulled me closer to you. I not only admired that trait in you, your fierce strength and independence, I adored it. It made me that much more attracted to you... I thought it was possibly the pheromones and biology of mating between male's and female's that drew me to you but later did I realize it was actually more than that...

Did I make that too technical... I swear I've been working on _not_ doing that... I've been working very hard to be as good as I can... for you.

I am really glad I made you so happy. That has actually made my day. And I'm sorry for making things difficult for you. But thinking of you, I automatically feel like I have a blanket of protection. It is irrational, but there it is and there I feel it.

It makes me happy to hear that you cherish my letters almost as much as I do mine. I also love to receive mail from you. It is the one highlight of this place. It makes being here worthwhile. I imagine it as if you are speaking the words to me and the feeling is indescribable. Never have I missed anyone in my life, but you... you are different. I am constantly reminded of your absence and it saddens me.

Actually... the pat on the head could be used now more than ever with all that is going on. My aches have only gotten progressively worse. Bullets, grenades, land mines, C4, explosives, gunfire, shouts, screams, shrapnel.

"The Whole Sha-bang," as the Sergeant Major said. "The Works," as Weber put it.

Those so eloquently put phrases, keep me on edge 24/7.

My fellow sergeant isn't helping matters... though I may just leave the punching to Sergeant Major Mao... I think she would get a real kick out of it (or at the very least, slight enjoyment)

I felt a great sense of... heat? I'm not sure how else to explain it. The Heat poured through me in a rush, coursing through me just like that adrenaline you were mentioning. It came with knowing you care about my welfare. It … is an immeasurable feeling – to be wanted and actually cared for... I have never really felt that.

I hope you feel that from me, all these conglomerated emotions I have when I think of you are enough to keep me happy for many lifetime's to come. The prospect of hopefully being able to see you again si what keeps me going and keeps me safe... you have become my drive. ...My everything. You are what motivates me to get up, you are what drives me to work harder, you are... a wonderful person that can bring light into any situation.

I want you to know, you are constantly on my mind. As I prepare for battle, my thoughts stray to you, prepping fr the next day I see you, laying awake as I try to sleep. It's almost as if you're here. How I wish that were the real case. Minus the war.

Despite the way I have acted, I do enjoy times of peace... much more than what I'm faced with now.

"Going with what you said," I can relate. Entirely.

Before, I just went through each day as it passed. Merely living because of tactical choices I made to ensure survival in the barest forms. I lived just because a life was there. I had no purpose until you... uh... (_huzukashii_) … came into my life. I felt I actually had a meaning and purpose. And not only because I had someone dear to me and was able to fight and actually protect something I cared deeply about.

I always said that I did the things that I had done because you were a mission, a top priority, my duty. But, you were never just a _mission_, Kaname, or a burdening duty. In fact, you were an important part of my life, in making me the way I am now.

Before, I would just make it through the day without a care other than my own safety (not even that, at times) but now... I have found that I am capable of feelings and emotions, strong ones at that... I'm no longer just some liberated, bound-by-codes automaton. Though, these things that I feel can be unruly and hard to manage or stabilize, but it is worth it. It brought me close to one of the most... um... magnificent people I've ever known. That person is you, Kaname.

You are the main reason I actually _exist_ and not just waste my days away.

I would say that I over-shared – embarrassingly so, and I wrote in pen so I could not do anything about what I said... and it all had just flown...faster than I could have even written it... - but you stated that it was not so. Nothing is over-sharing between us, I suppose. Um... :) …?

I feel as though I am a "scaredy-cat" by relaying my feelings to you via this letter but at this time, it is all I can do...

I am sorry for that. These are personal matters that should be addressed in person, but with all that is going on here... it is a wonder I am still able to write.

I will come back to you, of that you can be sure. I will wager my honor as a soldier on this fact. Besides which, I would rather hold you... in my arms before I die than die and honorable death in the field (or so the image in my head forces me to believe)

Just thinking of you, I feel I can brave a legion of men. Soldier pride pales in comparison for the emotions etched deep into my heart.

I have never written so much in my life. You tend to bring out sides of me I have never known were even there.

U-um... to... address what you inquired... erm... it was... _is_ a good question! I would like to know where we stand as well. As I am sure you have guessed, I have never entered any sort of relationship. And with the distance and circumstance... with you in mind... it would be too difficult. I would never want to burden or strain you in any way, especially not when it concerns relationships which are generally set up to be easy and care-free.

What I want to ask of you is to wait for me and my return and upon it, we could work on a relationship... but that is highly unfair and far too selfish.

I just want you to be happy. I have never really wished that for anybody. But for you, it is more than deserved. Just be happy, with whoever, or even whatever. And with the way I figured things, I do not think you will get that from me.

Were it another situation, maybe... well, I know I would have done anything to be "with" you – as they say. All I can say is... (I am so sorry for my cowardice of having to write this and not tell you person-to-person and please do NOT let this sway your final decision) through much thought and sleepless nights... I have come to the understanding that I... I truly and honestly have "fallen" for you.

I Love You Kaname Chidori.

It has been on my mind for awhile now.

Ai Shiteru.

I believe this is what Melissa and Weber call a confession...

They said it would feel good... all I feel now is apprehension.

In any case...

I, uh... I... hmmm... this was easier to verbalize in the throes of my emotions.

I feel I must write how I feel so you know before, should anything happen; I love...you...

"Love"

Your "War Nut Otaku"

P.S.

Thank you for keeping me posted on the goings-on on the home-front. I wouldn't know who is in a relationship or not... it seems you are quite interested, though : )

and thank you for punching Issei... I thank you for his sake. Because had I been terhe I would have... well... it would not have been pretty.

I would love to meet your family. I enjoy meeting new people I just hope I won't embarrass you too much... if I make it back...which I most definitely will!

I miss all of my newly acquired comrades... do you think you could relay that message to them? Kazama-kun and Tokiwa-san.

Domo!

YOSH!

HEYA, KANA-TAN!

It's the ever-lovable, extreme seducer of all women barely-legal age and up, Kurz "the Kurzter" Weber!

You're a doll, babe, and I miss ya terribly! You and that Bright disposition and shining personality (snicker)

Sorry...anway. I just wanted to say hi!

Send my love to everyone (give Eri a big smooch from me ;) and be sure to get that on camera, would ya? Have, uh... what's her cute-face... um.. Kyo...yea, Kyoko, have her film it or somethin'!)

Oh, hey, sorry g2g, Sergeant Serious is coming back!

Smooches and lovey-dovey bear hugs (with my infamous whispered endearments to go along with it)

Your Sexy Sergeant Friend~

YOSH!

_A/N:_

_YAY! IT'S MUSHY SOUSUKE! Haha I couldn't resist making him lovey-dovey in his time of isolation and danger. Speaking of it! I also couldn't resist adding ol' Kurzie at the end, taking the letter out of the envelope, writing his tid-bit and then skillfully returning it to its case xD_

_What will Kaname's response be? :O_

_Domo: Thanks_

_Huzukashii: Embarrassing!_


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